Tough day

Monday, 3-7-11

Monday was a hard day for me. I’ve been missing my family quite a bit and feeling a little homesick. It’s hard now that all the delegations are gone because I’d gotten use to having so many people around. Now I’m feeling a little lonely. It’s nice having Kathy and the ladies around to chat with when I need someone to talk to. But I still miss my family. I talked to Matt and my parents on the phone and on Skype on Monday because I missed them a lot. It’s nice to be able to stay in touch with them so easily. I think the nights are the hardest for me. That’s when it’s dark and I feel really alone, especially because I’m the only one in the main part of the house. I don’t like being alone with my mind. It’s like I’m all wrapped up in the darkness and I feel trapped. I’m going to stop writing about that now because it makes me feel panicky.

I’m also nervous about starting to teach. I’m probably going to start sometime next week. Matt reminded me that I was nervous last year as well. It will probably take a while to adjust. I just hope everything goes well. I didn’t accomplish a whole lot on Monday except to work on my blog, catch up on emails, and get things in my room organized. I felt really sick to my stomach and hot. Sometimes when I’m really sad I also feel physically sick. It’s all psychosomatic. I didn’t eat breakfast because my stomach was saying, “No food.” I had some ginger tea to try to calm down and put a cool washcloth on my neck. Later that night Kathy and I made pizza which was fun. Well, she made the pizza and I sat and talked to her. It was a nice way to end the day.